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Humour
What the non-horsey
people say:
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They never come to see us anymore. Say they got to take
care of their horses all the time and don't trust anyone
else to do it.
Every time I go to their house she's always wearing those
smelly, stained leggings with the patches on the knees.
The knocker on their door is a horse's head. Their house
is furnished with horsey motifs. I swear if one of their
horses die, they will have it stuffed and placed in the
living room.
When you walk into their house it smells and looks like
the House of Bondage. Leather straps, saddles, whips,
collars, metal things to control the head. These people
are really kinky.
She's always whining about the vet bills, farrier
(what's that?) bills, feed bills, the cost of tack. But
when I suggested she sell her horses and eliminate
everything, she looked at me like I just shot her mother.
She lets her 5 year old child ride bareback on an
unbroken pony. But when I asked if I could take
her to the beach for the day she told me, 'No, the beach
is too dangerous for Amy.'
Their Christmas Cards include pictures of all their
horses with Seasons greetings from each nag at the
bottom of the card. We call them our 'Mr. Ed' Christmas
cards, since the horses seem to talk to you.
We invited them to go camping with us last week. When
they showed up they bought 3 of their horses with them.
They kept us up all night long, snorting and carrying on
until the sun came up.
They live in a caravan with five children, three dogs,
and two cats. But you go in their back yard and they
have an immaculate stable block, filled with beautiful
horses
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